What I'm attempting to do it reach a point where I stop blaming. Stop blaming the circumstances that are behind me, in my past, and take responsibility for who I am, and who I want to become.
I made the decision for years on end to let others' words affect me in such a way that my body and my soul reacted in a negative way. It wasn't until I learned that I alone am responsible for my esteem, was I able to decide that their words could no longer affect me, and that the lies were no longer going to rule my life.
I make the decision daily to ignore the voices of the ghosts of my past. I decide whether or not they win. I decide that I'm going to stomp out the voices of those lies, with an even louder truth: that I am worthy of happiness.
It's my choice to silence the fears and doubts that try to kill my dreams. It's my choice made daily, to fight for my joy. It's my choice to push forward toward my goals at times when I am facing ridicule from the complacent masses.
It's my choice to be happy. Nobody can be as happy for me as I can be for myself. Nobody can "make me happy", I have to be happy to appreciate what they have to offer. Nobody but I can decide to make me happy, because if I'm not happy, if I don't have that light shining through me, then I can't reasonably expect another person to do it for me.
I CHOOSE to be happy, though I have days when my life feels like it's going to fall apart. Though there are moments when my soul is so tired that it just can't go on. Though my friends and family may not always support me in the way that I'd like. I CHOOSE happy.
Because happiness is not carrying a fool's grin on your face every second of the day. Happiness is having the peace inside your life to know that this moment, this seemingly horrid situation, this heartbreaking circumstance, this test, that trial, or this tribulation - won't last forever. It too shall pass.
Let that knowledge bring you peace. Let that peace manifest into happiness.
It will, if you choose it.
